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Diaryland
Being gay (2) 2004-06-03 @ 3:51 p.m.
There are aspects of children that can offer hints as to what their sexual orientation will be like when they are older. Part of this, as I said before, involves which gender of friends they prefer, and which activities they enjoy more than others. Gay guys tend to have more girls as friends and to enjoy activities that girls usually prefer when they are young - right brain kind of stuff. Does this make us effeminate? Honestly, I don't have an answer to that question. What is masculinity? What is femininity? Are those transcendent principles or have they been merely selected for someone's convenience? I've given a lot of thought to such questions, but I find I don't like to dwell on it too much because I am who I am, and trying to be anything else will just make me unhappy. Besides, all of us have a little of both 'sides' in us. Sometimes I wonder if withouut cultural conditioning, men and women would be identical except for anatomy. I don't quite believe that though. Ever hear stories about liberal parents who try to raise their kids free of gender expectations? Even in a free environment like that, little boys and little girls still tend to think and act differently most of the time. From what I've learned about the subjective labels of "natural" or "healthy", often there is a bias towards the common and the usual. But that in itself is not a good enough reason. Being gay cannot be bad simply because it is unusual or atypical. For God's sake, it was the willingness of the Jews to break convention that brought knowledge of the Law of the LORD into the world!
Yet, the reason I wonder so much about gender issues is because from what I've studied, they are deeply connected to the religious role in the persecution of gay people. Ancient people had very distinct ideas about who men and women were and what their proper roles were. They came to believe, whether or not it is true I do not know, that these different roles of the sexes were ordained by God. Men were expected to be active, strong warriors. Women were to cultivate the home and be passive. To challenge such roles was seen as challenging nature and God. In patriarchal socieities, like Israel, Greece and Rome, it was especially reviled for men to do things considered effemninate. Since women were thought to be inferior, their efforts to assume more commanding roles were not as threatening - in fact, they might have been admired for trying to overcome their alleged "inborn weakness". But for men, who occupied a high place, to act in the manner of women was for them to fall from some special state of grace. It was the most unthinkable abomination in a patriarchal society. And although the Greeks were much more tolerant of gay relationships than most nations, it was tied into a hatred of women and an idea of gay love as a hyper-masculinity. But even they mocked and scorned those men who took the passive position in sex - what we might call "bottoms" today. To be penetrated was thought to be a women's role to play. The Greeks only tolerated men to be passive while they were still boys. And as for the Jews, they hated both men who played a "women's role" and the men that were said to emasculate them. Add on to this the use of gay sex to humiliate one's enemies in war and slavery, and the male prostitution connected with pagan temples and worship, and you can almost understand why the Old Testament would condemn men that "lie with men as with women" to death.
It has been extremely difficult for me to reconcile my religious loyalties with my undeniable love of men. I've studied so much, and dispelled so many lies, but this last mystery holds me back from completely understanding the bible's take on men, women and sexuality. Are these verses simply the prejudiced ideas of those in power, or do they come from God? Even granted that the bible has literal, allegorical and mystical layers of meaning, how do we discern what comes from God and what is merely justified in His Name by men? Even were I not gay, I could never accept that the whole bible is the literal, infallible and complete Word of God. But as a mystic, I have heard that every verse has a context and a deeper meaning behind it. I am not content to leave this issue behind until I know why the bible says what it does, and whether that reason is God-given or not.
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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