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Diaryland
Time-sucking Games and David Sedaris 2004-07-08 @ 6:53 p.m.
I have found I don't like to spend long periods at home not so much because of my family, although they certainly give me their own reasons to want my space, but my own habits. If given too much time to spend at home, where someone else is providing me a cornucopia of food free of charge and a plethora of video and computer games, my time quickly turns to mush. Some days I am absolutely horrible - I just spend hours on end playing Age of Kings or some other game with few defined goals in mind. Thank God I never got into Everquest - I know I would have lost my life to a game of that nature. There is something in playing these games that I find utterly addicting. It is hard to put my finger on it specifically. There's a feeling of simplicity, in which all your options are clearly laid out before you and your time is limited. You are relying on your own skill and don't have to wait around on others. You are able to command everything exactly the way you want, and you take full responsibility for both your successes and your failures. Feelings of power, control, and the paradox of feeling completely efficient in an environment that sucks up so much of your time. In the past, after binging on these games for awhile, I would develop guilt trips and aim to simply purge myself of them. This of course simply lends itself to a cycle where after awhile I will think, "Oh, one hour won't hurt", and be back to where I started. I think the secret will be coming to understand why I like these games so much and what they do for me. Maybe if I could find something more real to replace the intellectual high they give me, I would not need them anymore.
When I have not been wasting my time playing such games, I've been doing a lot of reading. I am actually somewhat proud of myself for this, as it seems to be a much better use of one's time. However, I have come to learn that even reading has its limitations, and that you cannot figure out and solve all your problems by finding the correct book on the topic. Nonetheless, I have recently discovered the literary joy that is David Sedaris. I highly recommend his books to anyone - they are both hilarious and insightful. I bought three of them in the last two weeks. "Me Talk Pretty One Day" was my favorite thusfar. He's a gay Greek guy from the east coast who writes about all kinds of stuff. He has had a really incredible life and survived living and working with the funniest people. The paradox is that he and everybody else always thought that he would never be more than a lazy bum. I like the way he writes about being gay - one part of your personality, nothing more and nothing less. He brings a real fresh humor to being gay - he's not a self-hating closet case who keeps dismissing its importance and begging for straight people to accept him, but neither is he a super-activist queen who makes his entire life about being gay and has no life outside of it. He doesn't like rainbow flags, but he can't stand ignoramuses on talk radio comparing gays to pedophiles.
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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