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Diaryland
Weekend of Small Miracles 2004-10-31 @ 5:33 p.m.
Going down to the south bay proved to be a good idea. Loralea and I talked for a long time about stuff - grad school, my practice, suffering, Mary, faith. It turned out she had been having a hard time the last few days, and even found herself crying out of nowhere earlier that day. She cried a little when she told me about some of her spiritual experiences - such as seeing her mother's face transposed on top of Jessica's during a communion, or Mary's upon the moon, calling her to bend her knee and honor the Spirit she represents. As we talked that evening, a presence filled the room that both of us later remarked about. Something shifted my perception and heightened my emotions somewhat. It was a force always present with us, only now I am finally at the point where I can perceive such things. I meditated before I went to bed, and the verse "I am the resurrection and the light" came to me. Jesus (Yeshua) did not come just to be worshipped - he came to serve as an example and to dramatically demonstrate The Way that all of us must journey on if we are to awaken to the fullness of God within us - the kingdom of Heaven. He actually stresses in the gospel that lip service and honoring him is not important compared to the works of his mission and the honor of the Father. His life was truth, light, way and resurrection. If we follow in his footsteps, our life will be resurrection too.
I spent the night at Lorrie's and we went to communion this morning at Tim and Jessica's. It was powerful - I could physically feel the energy in the air, vibrating and uplifting me and everyone else in the room. I was able to meditate very well, but the best part was the blessing Lorrie received. Jessica did a ceremony for her to lift any vows make in ignorance to any being or order that interfere with her freedom as a child of God and a servant of Christ. Some burden was evidently lifted, because I heard her cry some more and felt the energy in the room surround and heal her. It was so strong I actually felt somewhat faint for a bit.
We went out for brunch afterwards and I had some really good discussions with Tim and Jessica. Their advice for grad school is simple but good - do what I love and follow my bliss. I think if I just give things a little more research and thought, I will be certain how I feel about the various studies and programs, and that will help me to decide. I am leaning towards the GTU at this point - Jessica is also aware of that program and thinks it would work very well for my interests. From the subject of academics, we got into a discussion about scholars and scientists and the conclusions they jump to about spiritual practices without ever having done them themselves. Jessica also asked me for ideas for the web site, and I was happy to share my thoughts.
The drive down and back was wonderful. The weather was beautiful, and I listened to the U2 cd I just got at Backdoor Tapes and CDs in Cotati. "Where the Streets Have No Name" kept pulsing in my mind the whole weekend. I had this feeling while driving of freedom and joy, as if everything would work itself out for the best and I did not have to worry about anything.
And, perhaps the most surprising thing about this weekend, I ran into Hunter in San Francisco. I stopped over in the Castro on the way down to get some dinner and do some browsing. I went into a bookstore, and as I was looking around, I heard a voice behind me talking to some customers. I thought "funny...that guy sounds a lot like Hunter." Then I turned around and discovered it actually WAS Hunter. I was very happy to see him, but I found myself surprisingly nervous. Maybe it was a good thing he had customers to work with now and then - it gave me time to think coherently about what I wanted to say to him. If he was surprised to see me, he didn't show it. Not that he seemed distant or anything, but he acted very casually - as if he was not surprised to see me at all. I had not seen him in person in four years. He's changed a lot - living in the Mission and working in the Castro obviously inspired much of it. I asked him about lots of stuff - school, future plans, love life, whether things have gotten any easier with his parents (they haven't). He seems like he is doing really well, and I was happy to see him. He talked about himself easily and openly. One thing that has not changed though - I still cannot gauge him very well. I don't know if he was happy to see me or not. Gosh, to be honest, I have never known what he thinks of me. I admire him, and I guess that's why I care.
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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