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Diaryland
Here I go again... 2005-01-12 @ 11:34 a.m.
Well, I've finally decided to get my ass in gear and head up to Washington. Its too late at this point to politely ask to stay with my aunt and uncle, or my grandparents (not that I really feel like staying with my grandparents, although my nana and I are back to a semi-nice polite veneer again).
I was thinking I would like to spend the night up in Dunsmuir near Shasta. I could car camp or tent camp, or if the weather gets especially ridiculous I could get a room somewhere (ouch to the finances - but not such a big deal, considering how much I got spoiled on my last trip). The thing is that Dunsmuir is one of the most gorgeous places on I-5. Its in a river valley nestled between forest covered mountains, with Shasta in the distance. And there's probably snow up there now! Gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous! I've got lots of winter clothing left over from my scouting days. And - I recently purchased snow chains for the CRV. So Caz is all good to go.
Part of me is happy to get back to do some martial arts again, and part of me is groaning. This last interval, I've been stretching more than ever before, but still not nearly as much as I should. So I usually end up with pulled muscles and such my first few days back, although it wasn't nearly as bad this last time so I am hoping for the best. The worst comes from moving your weight from your back to your hips. In the long run, its better for you and makes for better martial arts, but it always feels like I've done a hundred squats with the weights. Hopefully my energy will perk up too, because if I continue to be as lethargic as I have been it won't be fun at all. Nonetheless, for all my various ills at the moment - stress, depression, acne, acidosis, and whatever the hell is wrong with my lumbar area - exercise and stretching is a top recommendation. So here's to hoping.
My twenty-second birthday is in eight days. I stopped looking forward to birthdays a long time ago. Another year has gone by, and there's so many things I wish I had and had not done. I always feel like I should be farther along. People tell me I have unrealistic expectations of my self, but in the same breath they tell my how smart and wise and passionate and such I am. So obviously they expect more of me. Part of me hates being young, mostly because of the way people dismiss me for my lack of experience, and part of me wishes the world would just let me enjoy what little youth I have left.
As you've probably figured out by now, I have real issues when it comes to responsibility and work. I tend to be rather bi-polar on the subject - one week I burn the midnight oil continually and wear myself out, and the next I act like a slug and feel guilty the whole time. Balance is the biggest thing I need in my life. I wish someone could teach me how to find balance - not just in work, but in everything. But from where I am, it seems most people are just as ignorant about the subject as I am.
Oh well... God save us all from ourselves. See you guys later - I'll try to get a library or something while I'm up north!
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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