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Diaryland
Getting myself together March 22, 2005 @ 11:15 p.m.
Today started out being difficult, but got a little easier as it went on. I didn't get much sleep last night, and wasn't able to myself out of bed to go to that pathetic excuse for Tai Chi. Which is bad, because I think I maxed out my unexcused absences. I think I'll just mark it as if I attended anyway. That psycho will probably be so high on positive energies that she won't notice anyway. See, I can be bad too.
Counseling was good. We talked about two very important and practical matters - what I'm going to do after I graduate, and whether I need to go on an antidepressent for now. Both are topics I need to think about and check up on. Susan said that she felt much more of a sense of hopelessness from me this semester than last year. That kind of surprised me, because I thought I was pretty bad then too. Apparently, I've gotten worse, although in some ways there are things I've gotten out of the way. Its also interesting how I say things now and then that really stand out to her and sometimes even surprise me - sad little philosophies I have about life or myself. Everyone does this, although perhaps not to my degree.
It looks like I may still have a chance with the History Journal too. I have until Friday to get the submissions in, and apparently Dr. Halavais changed her mind and will allow personal submissions to count. I went back to her office with her afterwards and talked with her for an hour or so about all kinds of things. Describing all I've been up to, I began to realize that maybe I did have it a little harder on myself than I was taking credit for - 18 or 19 units on 3 campuses, a small job, mystical studies and experiments, and plenty of personal issues. She is not just a good professor - Dr. Halavais is also a very good friend, and I was sad to learn that she is also struggling with depression and has been on antidepressent medication herself.
It was good to get back to Hebrew class too, which I've missed for two weeks now. We're almost done with Ruth, and even though I'm behind with everyone, I'm happy to see how much I can pick up just reading a sentence off that bat.I think if I really study, I could get this language down. I've even thought about becoming a translator or archivist for a while. That may give me a way to go to Europe and support myself.
I only wish I hadn't been so tired today. Luckily I get to sleep in tomorrow.
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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