Bio
Latest
This Year
Last Year
Older
Music
Links
Profile
Notes
E-Mail
Diaryland
I'm Still Here May 07, 2005 @ 8:58 p.m.
Today I had another perception of equanimity like the one I had last week. I say perception because experience sounds too passive - this was a mode I actively went into. I was lying on the guest bed here at my parent's place, my legs propped up with pillows because of my lower back pain. I was tired enough for a nap but buzzing enough to not quite sleep. So I just accepted and observed. And once again, I was pleasantly surprised.
What if you could observe your thoughts, emotions and sensations as you would a piece of paper? Again, I find that this is not a matter of escaping, transcending or defeating these various parts of my experience of life. Just recognizing something else that is also there. And the really interesting thing is that all my familiar doubts and fears are still here, and they were still there while this was going on. I felt them just as much as ever, and all the physical sensations that go with them. And I didn't ignore them - I did notice them. Its just that, I noticed them from a vantage point that was a little more infinite.
I'm making progress on my spiritual path. Although I do not yet perceive heaven, I feel Earth's bonds loosening. I find once again that I AM, and that everything I have experienced is valid. In this state, I don't want anything. I don't desire anything. The closest I come to it is observing myself and noting what might help me. I need not fear that I will lose some part of myself. The only thing being shed is a pattern of doing things... bad habits. I'm still here, and I'm coming to know more and more who I am.
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
|
CURRENT MOON moon phase |
