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Diaryland
Zotz June 16, 2006 @ 8:56 p.m.
There's a subtle jitter in my aura as I sit here writing on Roxy's laptop, here in a strange and comfortable coffee and internet shop in St. Charles, a suburb of New Orleans. It's my first visit to the south, and I'm satisfied with my recently acquired ability to stay awake. Sleeping lightly for an hour or two in a chair, followed up by a little bit of mocha seems to have done the trick for now at least. My mind was gone earlier - I have enough discipline to be able to stay awake when tired, but being able to carry on intelligent conversation? You can toss that out the window.
Sleep deprivation is well-known as a classic esoteric technique, but I haven't really gotten the hang of it yet. Obviously, it narrows your concentration down so that with effort, it tends to stick to only one subject or object. Problem is, I often forget why I am contemplating said subject in the first place. I'm getting the hang of mental discipline though, slowly but surely. I am learning how to split my consciousness to perform different aspects of a task simultaneously - narrow my mind to a single subject, call and summon forth its essence from the Superconsious, and remain open and listening to whatever response I receive on any given level. Does it sound impossible? Amazingly enough, it isn't. It just requires training. For me it took a year or so, but I was very inconsistent and lazy, lapsing frequently. But I'm happy with myself. I am crafting some of the most important magical tools I will ever posess. The ability to control your own mind - to enter any aspect of it that you choose at your own conscious will - allows you to go and do almost anything in the universe with practice. It's interesting how learning and practicing scrying has refined a lot of the technqiues I use for meditation. I know they are all related. The power of concentration and conjuration, whether you aim it inside or outside, is essential. A few days ago I was practicing communing with the Holy Light on the bus and had a good minute at least of perfect focus on it. It was the only thing for me, and it was wonderfully quiet and peaceful. Nothing supernatural as of yet, but I'm not complaining.
Mark is at work at a bar called Cooter Brown's at the moment, where he shucks oysters and occasionally finds low-grade pearls among other things. Roxy is out giving a friend a ride, and will return here to Zotz eventually to start her shift. Her friend and coworker Amanda sits at the table next to me, chatting off and on while she practices drawing ears in her sketchbook. I've never met a friend of Roxy's I didn't like, and I'm happy to banter with her while I write. Next to this computer, which Mark has texture-painted to resemble a kind of sparkly stone which resembles army camouflage in color, is a little blue Care Bear doll which Roxy adores. It has a sleepy moon and star on its chest and half closed eyes, if you care to know its power. Roxy and Mark's cigarette butts sit in an ashtray on the other end, next to empty cups of water and mocha, and some leftover tomato basil soup from our lunch earlier; which may I mention was quite yummy.
Zotz is sponge painted to resemble an archaeological layer in the front rooms, the back rooms being a bit more homey and warm in color and decor. There's a row of computers with internet and printing, their screen savers performing some kind of mass-distrubed physics project in molecule folding. There is some great photography and art on the walls. One series features an overworked, sarcastic, smoking and drinking rabbit. The other is a perfectly executed series of shots revealing two Barbie dolls' adventures in lesbian love. The place is quite gay friendly, but I've only seen one guy I was into here tonight, and while he was here I was just too tired to muster up the energy to engage in flirtatious machinations.
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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