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Diaryland
New Look, New Shot October 09, 2008 @ 11:49 p.m.
I've been thinking about this diary off and on over the last few months. I've been mindful of the fact that I haven't given it the attention it deserves. Getting back in touch with a lot of old friends, with no small thanks to facebook, has given me a lot of new outlets for communication. Along with that, while I still seem to have a long way to go, I've conquered a good bit of the social anxiety and feel a bit freer to talk with friends about more personal things.
I had thought about maybe just calling it quits here, seeing as I haven't been posting much other than song lyrics for the past several months. But lately, I've reconsidered. The reason being is that I am running against walls with a lot of my friends and its turning out that I can't turn to them as much as I'd like to. I've been somewhat resentful and mad with a couple of them lately who've just been wading and sloshing around in their problems with no real intention to change things around. The thing is that although a lot of times I can be a good listener, I often feel that people take advantage of me for that, and I rarely get a chance to talk about what is really important to me. It feels selfish a lot of times, and when it doesn't it often just gets submerged under the importance of other people's problems.
I don't want to play the blame game here, and I realize that there have probably been plenty of times when I've dominated the conversation with others and haven't given them the chance to speak things that need to be said; the chance to share things that are begging to be shared. The point of all this, I guess, is I'm rediscovering the validity and utility of having a diary like this. Its not a substitute for friendship and conversation, but rather a compliment. I can write things here that I need to express to someone, without it having to be a specific someone (unless I so choose), and without having to burden my friends, especially when they really need me.
So I'm rededicating myself here, and I think I'll have a lot to talk about over the next few months. Certainly there's plenty going on in my life, and lots of different related and unrelated topics to write here about, for listeners or otherwise. There's also a lot more that needs to be said about whats happened over the past few years, and maybe earlier as well.
So, "here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known." ;)
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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