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Diaryland
Three of Pentacles February 12, 2008 @ 12:00 a.m.
Fuck my eagle project.
Well, don't do that, because I did manage to do something nice for someone. But I mean, fuck the concept of the whole thing!
You're a kid, you're still a kid, but now its time to be an adult! Boom boom boom!
Man I'm pissed. I'm not even being coherent here, am I?
Well, let me explain. The Three of Pentacles is the card of teamwork, planning, cathedral-building, smurfy-goodness. These are all things I tend to really, really suck at.
I am NOT a team player. I never have been. I mean, I get along with people in teams allright. Well, no I take that back: I DON'T.
I'm a fierce, ferocious, bite-your-ass-off individualist. With opinions. And spite. And bad breath. But only when I haven't brushed my teeth.
It did get me in trouble once. The bad breath. Its not a natural thing, but rather comes from my hatred of routine. Its really not a problem anymore. Well, whenever I go out in public anyway.
OK, I REALLY NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH ON A REGULAR BASIS! OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! Its brushing your teeth for God's sake! This is like 3rd grade material! No, younger!
This has been my embarassing confession for the evening.
Ok, most of the time, I do not go out in public with bad breath. If I intend to meet anyone important or hot, I ALWAYS brush my teeth. Its just one thing I'm lazy about that really stands out.
I'm not sure how far it stands out. I like to think there's only been a couple times its been an issue before.
It was Sunny Hills that got me off on this tangent. Elizabeth came up to me one day and whispered to me that I stank. She said someone else had mentioned it. Looking back on it, I'm not even really sure it was my teeth. At the time, I was experimenting with some new oils from Lucky Mojo, and I kind of liked some of the heavier scents. There's also that property that happens with scents where its not nearly as powerful a smell to you personally as it is to everyone else. In my mind's more positive renditions of the event, I have nothing more to blame than Aquarius oil for the smell.
But I fear it might have been my breath, because for some reason that isn't entirely clear to me, I wasn't brushing my teeth regularly.
She said that to me, and suddenly I wasn't in my 20s anymore. I was 3.
Yes, the age of 3, not the third grade. That's where I got it from.
Not being flashbacked to or reminded of being 3. More along the lines of being reduced in worth and importance to a 3 year old.
Worth and importance... now where did that come from?
When did I get it into my head that children are less valuable and important than adults?
"Details in the Fabric" - May 31, 2009
Not So Quick Questions - April 6, 2009
The Morning Stars - Lords of the 15 - April 9, 2009
Sincerity and Faith in Magic - April 10, 2009
Not So Quick Questions (2) - April 14, 2009
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